More Goodbyes

During the time I was acutely mourning the loss of my close friends and co-workers at the site I left in January I got the news (which in all fairness I knew was a possibility) that my dear new boss was leaving my new site. She is a wonderful RN and in the reorganization of our program she had the opportunity to pick one of essentially three positions that she had available to her (two of them equaled her staying at the new site, one equaled her remaining as my boss, and one [the one I dislike most] equaled her leaving not only as my supervisor but also the site). All I could do when she told me was bite my tongue and smile for fear that if I did more than that I'd start crying so hard that I wouldn't be able to stop. Then I entered denial mode and still am there.

Maureen was my supervisor for just days less than two months and the impact that her leaving has on me is surprising. I've tried to put into words what she has meant to me and I can't adequately do this. Nor do I think that just anyone would understand the depth that she has impacted my life right now. The closest I've come to being able to verbalize this is to say that she was my saving grace. She gave me hope and confidence and promise all when I needed it the most. She let me crawl at a snails pace in making the decision to leave the site I'd been at for nearly six and a half years. She did this without pushing, without frustration, without expectation. She did it with support, heart and caring. She called me, emailed me, checked on me throughout the process. She let me babble, ask questions, reflect. She let me do this for months...literally...months. All the while keeping it under wraps, maintaining my confidentiality. She let me "make a decision" and then change my mind and respected both decisions. I was fickle and I waffled a lot and she never lost a beat. And, finally, when I made a decision. A.REAL.ONE...she was on vacation for a week and then I was on vacation for a week. Thank goodness her voice mail greeting revealed that she was out and I'm even more thankful that she had given me her cell number and told me to call anytime. So...that is exactly what I did. I got her voice mail and my stomach got even more butterflies while I waited for a return call--whenever that would come. I didn't wait long. She called me after sledding time with her family on Mt Hood. She talked me through EVERYTHING. She reminded me to breathe. I really was still hesitant about the decision but Maureen put me at ease...or tried anyway. She met me at my level, where I was at and didn't make me feel any way beside what I needed to feel. She pep-talked me through each step that I needed to take next...breathing, telling my coworker, breathing, telling my soon-to-be-new coworker, breathing, telling my current (now previous) supervisor, BREATHING. And, bless her, she did this all (plus all the notifications she had to do on her end) while she was on vacation. How can I ever forget or repay her kindness?! I can't. I can only be thankful, let her know I appreciate her, what she did for me and show others the same kindness and patience she showed me. She was and is my saving grace. I think of her and thank her every day that I go to work and work in a positive, encouraging environment. That is thanks to her. Really. She made it happen. Made it work.

Maureen's last day was yesterday. Such a bittersweet day, week, few months I've experienced. In order to celebrate what she has done for the site (which she's been at for 12 years) we had a surprise breakfast to honor her. She's the timid looking one below....just coming into the room.

People milling about...

Folks milling about....

...more milling about.

On Maureen's actual last day, the floor staff (her direct reports) minus one person who forgot (I won't name any names... :) all wore black to mourn our loss.

Below: Connie, Maureen (in her wonderful, colorful top among our black), me, Kaniko, Kelli (my new coworker).

The picture below is all of us minus Dexter, who was out that day.

Connie, Myra, Kelli in the back, Maureen, me, Euphemia and Kaniko in the front. These are my most direct coworkers at the new site.

This is us showing our upset at Maureen for leaving by "acting" as though we are ignoring her.

I've enjoyed having Maureen as a supervisor. As "Boss Lady" as she is affectionately known as at our site. I also enjoyed getting to chat with her about her struggles with leaving a site she's been at for years. I think we were a bit of kindred spirits for each other in those times as she was struggling with some of the same emotions that I was. Maureen was the kind of boss every boss should be and the kind of boss everyone should be so blessed to have. Thanks, Maureen, for everything. And now you, remember to breathe! You can so do this!