Because things change....

...And friends leave. And life doesn’t stop for anybody.
~Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower.

The above sentiment is true. Though I've never read the book. I've always wanted to. It sits on the bookshelf in my old room. The one at home in Wyoming. The one in my mom's house. Where I first learned about things changing, about friends leaving, and about life not stopping--no matter how much we may want it to. "The Perks" sits among the books I accumulated during the first two-thirds of my life. Before I changed where I call home. Before I knew all the many books that would sit, waiting to be read, on my bookshelf in my now-home living room. Before I lived so many changes, friends leaving and the world not stopping for anyone experiences that I now have had. Some of those books I have read, some I have not. I need to get to them. I will get to them. When I get home sometime. (Which is a whole other post, one that has been started and left unfinished as of now.)

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I have felt particularly reflective the last several days because of some life events involving friends, family, loved ones. I can't help but admit and know that change is in the air. I feel it in my bones. Yet, I can't pinpoint exacly where it will lead. All I know is that August is moments away from being over. September is already knocking at my door. (Even though it feels like October here today.) Too soon she will open the door widely, welcoming herself in and settling down for for a cup of tea and a short chat and then she'll leave as quickly as she came. But while she is here she will re-introduce me to some of my favorite things. She will also remind me of the inevitable change and cycle of this world. As Don Miller so aptly states, "the seasons remind me that I must keep changing, and I want to change because it is God's way...everybody has to change, or they expire."

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Tonight as I turned the heater on in my car to chase away the cold on my way home from work, I realized that another season is ending, another beginning. Yes, we may have a few more days of summer to tease our senses. Make us think that it may be kick started again. That it isn't quite time to put away the shorts, tanks, capris, skirts and flip flops. I'm not yet ready to retire that wardrobe, but alas, soon I will be pulling out the flannel pajamas, the sturdy shoes, the cozy sweaters and warming scarves. Soon the windows will be closed all the time, not just on those especially chilly evenings. Blankets will migrate out of their basket to laps and shoulders that are chilly. Soon I will be adorning my home with the decorations of my favorite season. I will be inhaling and cherishing my favorite smells. The comforting scent of Yankee's "Harvest" candle, the crisp, fresh autumn air each morning and evening as it bites at my nose and makes me smile and rewinds my memory to a distinct moment, walking to school one brisk morning when I was probably no older than 6 or 7.

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I still remember thinking that was the best smell I had ever smelled in my life. And that thought remains to this day. I was standing on the sidewalk in front of my house, under a big Cottonwood tree raining leaves of yellow. The air was thick with the autumn morning fog and smoke settling down among the chimneys. It was a combination of the smell of musky leaves, burning wood, and crisp freshness. A scent so difficult to describe, but so easy to recall. I will go back to that place, that time. Even if only for a brief moment. Then I will fast forward to now. To the present. To reality. There will be the fun of pumpkin patches, spiced cider, roasting pumpkin seeds. Leaves that change color seemingly overnight, the enjoyment I get as they crunch under my shuffling feet and that stinging sensation in my lungs resulting from a deep breath in when I walk out my door in the morning into that crisp, cool, invigorating air.

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I know that there are some major changes on the horizon and I pray that I will graciously and open-heartedly embrace them. Whatever they may be. Whatever they may bring with them. In the meantime, I will mourn and rejoice over the summer months and the experiences I've had. I will be thankful for the time, late nights and early mornings. For the hikes, hard and easy. For nature, rain and shine. For friends, new and old. I will cherish my remaining morning-tea-on-the-balcony times, walking-under-the-stars times and hiking-in-nature times. I will anticipate the donning of a cozy sweater, the smell of autumn air and the glory of the oh-so-colorful pumpkins scattered in the fields.

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I will prepare my heart for changes, I will say farwell to friends and I will encourage my loved ones to persevere 'Because things change. And friends leave. And life doesn't stop for anybody.'

To Gaze Up at the Stars

"Without a wish, without a will,

I stood upon that silent hill

And stared into the sky until

My eyes were blind with stars

and still I stared into the sky."

~Ralph Hodgson

This is my all-time favorite constellation. Always has been. Always will be. No.Matter.What.

When we used to be on the road, late at night, in Wyoming and Colorado (where, by the way, there was a lot of dark and vacant areas and lots of stars to be seen) I would watch for this constellation. I could always spot it. Always. It is another thing that anchors me. I could care less about the BIG Dipper or the little Dipper. They are great and all. But the one that I love, the one I look for is Orion. Who knows, maybe there is a subconscious draw towards the mighty hunter in the sky, always on the hunt or lookout for the next big thing...who knows.

But in analyzing this I decided to google "hunter" and lovely google decided to populate and give me "hunter personality types" as a search option. Who knew?! Not I, that is for darn sure. My psych degree and all. It is sort of interesting. Read about the Hunter Personality Type here! As I perused it I discovered that I possess some of these traits (not many though-and that is a stretch also), but even moreso, I am in awe of and respect people I know who do "fit" these traits more than I do. Maybe because I wish I could be more like that? Maybe?! Maybe it is just because I sometimes think these people are just a tad bit crazy? But then again, so am I. Who knows.

Who knows what draws my eyes up to the sky. I have always had a facination for the heavens. I love looking up to the sky no matter the time of day. Laying on the elementary school playground picking out items in the clouds, stargazing, watching for the summer thunderstorms brewing in the ominous looking sky and the lightning guaranteed to accompany the thunder. It all intrigues me. Hence, my reflecting on it tonight as I was walking out among the stars. I also recall some of my favorite star-gazing experiences. All time favorite: camping in Canada, during a burn ban season and seeing more stars than I could have ever imagined. Heaven-quite literally.

I decided for fun to include some of my favorite sky pictures. Ah, look up to the heavens the next chance you get! Really!

**originally written 8/16/10 and unposted until now :)

A Melting Heart...

...is what I had when I read the following correspondence that was a reply to a message I sent to a friend on Facebook:

Yes, it has been awhile! Great to hear from you.We are doing well and enjoying
the beautiful sunshine lately:) We would love to see you when you come down in
the fall. Keep me posted. Just have to tell you that any night I ask Nora if she
wants to pray for anyone before going to bed, it's always you. I'm sure she'll
be excited to see you too! And Carmen is almost 1 so you'll hardly recognize
her. Miss you and look forward to hearing from you again soon.

Do you remember THIS adorable 2 year old?! Well, I do! She is almost 3 now. And, apparently (to my elation) she remembers me! :)

What makes an excellent day at work?!

I'll show you:

~First, you have the two girls who planned an outing to the beach, with a handful of our old folks. And (here is the key) you leave work! (remember that little part about leaving work)

~Make sure you have a driver (so of course you can enjoy the ride rather than doing all the driving yourself).
~Then you take a day that had been forecasted to be full of the marine layer and no cloud parting until late afternoon. You surprise said girls who planned the outing, old folks who agreed to go on the outing and bus driver who scoped out a killer (outdoor) picnic location and then asks, "Do we have a Plan B?" in the Coast Range as her windshield wipers were going full blast; with this scene: BLUE skys. Warm sun. And just a touch of a coastal breeze. All from our killer picnic table location {which, by the way, I sincerely hope I can find again. It was perfect}!

~Here is where you eat and be merry with the old folks.

{I can't show this picture...confidentiality sake and all--just imagine it.}

~Then you let the girls get a little crazy, they jump up on the table for a quick picture before scurrying back to the bus. (After getting group and individual shots of the participants of course.) ~Then you take a picture of the bus at the beach. You've gotta get proof that you were there don't you?! {I did the same thing last year when we were at Timberline Lodge} ~Then you take the bus of old folks and head back to Portland. Of course, with the fresh air and fresh lunch in the bellies, afternoon naps must ensue. {I wish I could put participant nap pictures here, but alas you will just have to settle with Tera napping. I am cruel and always take a picture of whomever falls asleep in the bus. And, if anyone can catch me sleeping you are more than welcome to return the favor. Just for future reference.}
~You can't let a day meet the excellent standard without ice cream now can you? Never. So you must stop at Dairy Queen for a sweet treat.

~Finally, you return to work. And are greeted by fun artwork, left by jealous co-workers.

Ahhhhhhhhh, beach outing= Huge SUCCESS!

Lacamas Lake and a Sour Mood

I ventured up to Camas WA today to hike Lacamas Park. It took me forever to find it because I had neglected to look up more specific directions. I set out early so that I could get my hike in before the day got too hot (the forecast was for upper 90's)! By the time I found the park I was ready to go home. Not a positive way to start a hike. It was already warmer than I'd like and I just didn't have it in me. Needless to say, I pushed myself to start it. I'm glad I did because this was one of the most peaceful shots I could get. It was beautiful. Absolutely. There were kayakers on the water, the birds were singing and the ducks were enjoying the sun.

Too bad it didn't last. No, nature stayed the same, but I was still done with being there. So, I left. Yes, I completed about 2 miles and then hightailed it out of there. I made it about half way around Round Lake that you can see on the left side of the map.

Ah...what was wrong with me?! Oh well. I, at the very least, discovered an area that I will have to go back too. When I'm in the mood, of course.

Festivals & Markets

I've never had a lot of experience with the Iranian culture. Today, I decided to change that. There was an Iranian Festival at the South Park blocks here in Portland. The draw of this festival was that the PSU Farmers Market is also occurring in the same area. I'd never been to either, so I decided to go to both. Why not?!

I hit up the farmers market first, as it closed first. The one question I asked myself over and over was, "Stephanie, why in the world have you never come to this market?" It was pretty impressive and I loved it. I vow that I will return. I will. I got an amazing gluten-free savory scone from New Cascadia Traditional Bakery. I saved it for later, and very much enjoyed it later.

Next, I made my way over to the Iranian Festival. There wasn't a whole lot going on.

But, there were some beautiful rugs....

...and some amazing pottery items...

...and of course, some Iranian food. That was delicious.

There were also some Iranian musicians that played beautiful music.

Overall, it was a grand day.

“Secrets are made to be found out with time.” ~Charles Sanford

I am at one with this secret these days. Yes. I am. And don't get me wrong. This isn't one of those deep dark secrets that could ding me later, do any damage. It is just cute, quirky, and provides a little more insight to me as a quirky person to you, my reader. Heck, this is a very public place. I wouldn't write anything here that I didn't potentially want the world to know.

Here goes:

There is this weird side of me. Yes, I am weird and this is one of the contributing factors to my weirdness.

I LOVE, absolutely love, random roadside attractions. It's true. Shhh....don't laugh so loud. I've never been embarrassed by this, I just chose to not tell most people. I'm not even sure my parents and brother know this side of me. Well, maybe they do. Maybe. Any potential husband and future children are in for it. I sort of feel for them. But it still won't stop me from wanting to see some strange/unique things!

Anywho, I have, in the last couple of years been especially tuned in to random things I'd like to see in my life. Yes, things like the World's Largest Egg housed in Winlock WA, the Peace Candle of the World in Scappoose OR or its near neighbor, the Damascus Centennial Peace Candle, and the Paul Bunyan Statue in North Portland.

There are also other odd attractions that are a distance away. Things like L. L. Bean's Giant Boot in Maine. The Giant Pink Elephant in Wisconsin, Foamhenge in Virginia, and the Fremont Bridge Troll in Seattle, the giant bench in Mitchell OR, and the World's Largest Radio Flyer Wagon in Spokane.

And then, there are the more "acceptable and reputatble" sculptures and attractions (and I say this because they can be and are considered art, whereas all the above attractions are truly random). I'd love to see the Peanuts Characters in Minnesota, the largest easel and Van Gogh painting in Kansas, The Awakening near Washington DC, the headless statues in Grant Park in Chicago (I actually prefer to call them the Leg Statues-it doesn't sound as morbid), along with some other statues and sculptures also housed there.

Recently, I was gifted two amazingly fun books from a friend, Tera, a student intern spending her summer with us at work. Looking through those books prompted my admission via blog. One is called Oregon Curiosities: Quirky Characters, Roadside Oddities & Other Offbeat Stuff and the other is Larger Than Life: Saskatchewan's Big Roadside Monuments. When I looked up the Oregon book I soon discovered that there is one for Washington, Wyoming, Colorado and most other states. Hmmm...a bad thing could have been started. Anywho, they are fun to have and I will have to start checking the sites off. Thanks, Tera!

So, now that you know of one of my quirks, don't think any less of me. And furthermore, I promise, if you have a secret desire to see any of these random sites, I won't think any less of you. Promise.

Things I like this Summer:

Fresh fruit; and lots of it.
Reading. Writing. Thinking.
My balcony.
Farmers Markets.
Time with new friends. Time with old friends. Time by myself.
Thriving Ivory, John Prine, Jakob Dylan, Iron & Wine, Owl City and even a little Uncle Kracker.
Time in the woods; hiking. The views. The falls. The smell. The sounds.
Events in parks.
Happy hour group.
Salad. Burgers (with buns). Peanut Butter & homemade Jam sandwiches (hated them as a kid...living my childhood over in this regard).
Running; again.
Spire Hard Cider. Milkshakes. Not at the same time, mind you.
The sky.

(as prompted by a friends Facebook post)

A misty start in bear country!

I want to do an outing to the beach with some of my folks from work. I prefer to preview places I am going to take them (so I know what I am really getting myself into)! Therefore, I declared today, "day trip to the beach for preview purposes, and I'll hike as a bonus." Yes, it would be my first trip to the beach for the year...sad, I know.

I decided to hike Cape Lookout State Park. When I arrived and parked, this Oregon Coast mist is what greeted me! I love it!

I hiked the Cape Trail, from "You Are Here" to the end of the cape!
Old growth forest and trail in the mist.

Really?! Thankfully, I didn't have to raise my hands or hold my coat open!

I'm a big fan of fog and mist. It was so beautiful and peaceful.

Sweet tree!

Memorial that would have been easy to miss if I hadn't looked up at just the right time.

This remaining trunk was HUGE!

Proof that I was there.

Ocean views

The ocean and beach all socked in by fog and clouds.

This was one of the views from my lunching site.

This is another view.

These "bridges" over muddy areas proved to be VERY helpful, as long as you didn't slide across them. I didn't, but I could tell some had due to the skid marks they'd left.

On the hike back to the car.

View from road level .

I decided I couldn't be this close to the Tillamook Cheese Factory and not stop for some squeaky cheese and ice cream. That would just be wrong.

P.S. Can I say, with all honesty, I went to the coast to check out that outing location....remember? Yeah, well, I didn't! Excellent, outing with the old folks, completely unprepared, here I come! Sweet!

July Poem of the Month

RAGGED OLD FLAG
written by Johnny Cash

I walked through a county courthouse square,
On a park bench an old man was sitting there.
I said, "Your old courthouse is kinda run down.
"He said, "Naw, it'll do for our little town.
"I said, "Your flagpole has leaned a little bit,
And that's a Ragged Old Flag you got hanging on it.

He said, "Have a seat", and I sat down.
"Is this the first time you've been to our little town?
"I said, "I think it is." He said, "I don't like to brag,
But we're kinda proud of that Ragged Old Flag."

"You see, we got a little hole in that flag there
When Washington took it across the Delaware.
And it got powder-burned the night Francis Scott Key
Sat watching it writing _Oh Say Can You See_.
And it got a bad rip in New Orleans
With Packingham and Jackson tuggin' at its seams."

"And it almost fell at the Alamo
Beside the Texas flag, but she waved on through.
She got cut with a sword at Chancellorsville
And she got cut again at Shiloh Hill.
There was Robert E. Lee, Beauregard, and Bragg,
And the south wind blew hard on that Ragged Old Flag."

"On Flanders Field in World War I
She got a big hole from a Bertha gun.
She turned blood red in World War II
She hung limp and low by the time it was through.
She was in Korea and Vietnam.
She went where she was sent by her Uncle Sam."

"She waved from our ships upon the briny foam,
And now they've about quit waving her back here at home.
In her own good land she's been abused --
She's been burned, dishonored, denied and refused."

"And the government for which she stands
Is scandalized throughout the land.
And she's getting threadbare and wearing thin,
But she's in good shape for the shape she's in.
'Cause she's been through the fire before
And I believe she can take a whole lot more."

"So we raise her up every morning,
Take her down every night.
We don't let her touch the ground
And we fold her up right.
On second thought I DO like to brag,
'Cause I'm mighty proud of that Ragged Old Flag."