There’s no question: My days are numbered

This article was in the Oregonian in November of 2006. I love it. And, at this time of year the point of it is good to remember:

The average American home now has more television sets than people, according to Nielsen Media Research. There are 2.73 TV sets in the typical home and 2.55 people, the researchers said. --The Associated Press Sept 21, ’06

I have two kids. Both are away at college.
I have five television sets. (I like to think of them as a set of five televisions.) I have two DVR boxes, three DVD players, two VHS machines and four stereos.
I have 19 remote controls, mostly in one drawer.
I have three computers, four printers and two nonworking faxes.
I have three phone lines, three cell phones and two answering machines.
I have no messages.
I have 46 cookbooks.
I have 68 takeout menus from four restaurants.
I have 116 soy sauce packets.
I have 382 dishes, bowls, cups, saucers, mugs and glasses.
I eat over the sink.
I have five sinks, two with a view.
I try to keep a positive view.
I have two refrigerators.
It’s very hard to count ice cubes.
I have 39 pairs of golf, tennis, squash, running, walking, hiking, casual and formal shoes, ice skates and rollerblades.
I am wearing slippers.
I have 41 37-cent stamps.
I have no 2-cent stamps.
I read three dailies, four weeklies, five monthlies, and no annual reports.
I have 506 CD, cassette, vinyl and 8-track recordings.
I listen to the same radio station all day.
I have 26 sets of linen for four regular, three foldout and two inflatable beds.
I don’t like having houseguests.
I have 184,000 frequent-flier miles on six airlines, three of which no longer exist.
I have “101 Dalmations” on tape.
I have 14 digital clocks flashing relatively similar times.
I have 22 minutes to listen to the news.
I have nine armchairs from which I can be critical.
I have a laundry list of things that need cleaning.
I have lost more than 1,000 golf balls.
I am missing 37 umbrellas.
I have more than 400 yards of dental floss.
I have a lot of time on my hands.
I have two kids coming home for Thanksgiving.

~Written by Rick Moranis