"I will not squander March on May, or throw away April in search of June." ~Jo

That comes from a friend and I love her words. Here is the segment in its entirety:

"I will stop. I will be still. I will be
here. And for goodness sake, I will stop fluttering around like it even matters
where I will be next year. Tomorrow has enough trouble, enough boxes, enough
square footage of its own.

I will not squander March on May, or throw away April in search of June. No.
No. No."

I should have read these words last week. Maybe. Then I might have been in a better mood. You see, last week, I was in a bad mood. Really. A very bad mood. You may ask why? It won't do much good. I asked all week. I never got an answer. I woke up Monday morning in a rotten mood. It persisted. All. Week. Long. It was miserable. I was short. I was tired. I was not someone that most people wanted to interact with. I made a comment one day and someone said, "tell us how you really feel." That was the problem. I was. And I wasn't censoring ANYTHING I said. Not that I usually have a problem with having to watch what I say. But when I am in a bad mood I think things that I wouldn't normally and therefore at times say things I shouldn't and wouldn't under normal circumstances. It is better in those instances that I just not talk. It was a long week. I was wishing for it to be over.

As I read the above passage I can't help but think that so often I wish my life away. I often wish that Monday would be Friday or that this month would be over, this event done. My wishing away is not always for a bad reason, like wishing for a sickness to pass or a bad mood to pass or a bad week to end more quickly. Many times I am wishing away time in anticipation of a good thing coming up...the holidays, a special event, a vacation. Nevertheless, I am wishing away my moments, my time.

Last week I was wishing away my bad mood, this week I am wishing away the time in anticipation of a vacation that I've been looking forward to for nearly a year. I wonder: If I wish away my time in anticipation of vacation will my vacation time speed along as quickly as I wish this time before it would pass? Unfortunately, I imagine that that will indeed be the case. My punishment for not enjoying the morning sun and evenings with friends more before the trip? For constantly rushing around trying to tie up loose ends? Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe that is just how life goes. I remember as a young girl people always saying that time moves faster the older you get. Sadly, it does. And it is only, inevitably, going to move faster and faster. This morning I said: "two weeks from today I will be waking up on the other side of the country." This evening I thought: three weeks from today I will be waking up back on this side of the country. Goodness, let that week of time away take longer than last week felt.