In an instant

"Life changes fast. Life changes in the instant. You sit down to dinner and life as you know it ends." --Joan Didion

This past weeks events with the shooting so close to my home at Clackamas Town Center and then the massacre of so many innocent children and those given the task to protect and teach them have rocked people world and reminded us once again that life can truly change in an instant. One instant you are joyfully shopping for a Christmas gift for your best friend or your sister and the next you've been shot. In one instant you can be molding the minds of our youth and in the next having your body riddled with bullets while you attempt to protect those little lives. 

I have to admit that these events have instilled a slight unease in my life. A hesitancy to go to some public places and when I do I am much more cautious and conscientious about it. In a conversation I had with Stasia on Wednesday evening, before the horrific end to the week, we were talking about the Town Center shooting. A place both of us frequent and have even been to together several times. I had said I wasn't sure if I'd go back before the New Year or not. Stasia said she would, and soon. The more I thought about it and with the events of Friday, I decided I would go to the Town Center in sort of an effort to "take back the mall" as I've heard some say. I did and it felt weird, but good. I went to the food court- (I was craving a Jamba Juice smoothy)- the epicenter of the activity from what I can understand from news reports. Walked through Macy's where there were security guards I've never seen in places I've never seen, but overall the mall had it's usual pre-holiday buzz. There were a lot of people in this space. Parents, kids, life, where just days before life had been taken in such an unfortunate way. 

There were lots of stars that had been obtained for people to write messages of hope, remembrance, and even questions on that were hung on the glass partition at the overlook down to the first floor. There were a few signs and with the exception of knowing of the unfortunate events and the stars and lack of the usual light, Christmas music things felt normal. I wondered if this was a good thing as a sign that people can move past these events; or if it was a bad sign that we've come to be slightly desensitized to these events. We see these awful things happen, but days, weeks and months later are they still impacting us, those of us not directly affected. When the next major event happens do we move on to that. Not forgetting, but not being as influence. Not a fully formed thought, but just there. 

Anywho...Stars.

Clackamas Town Center sign with flowers and plants brought by the public.

Marquis sign.

Flags at half staff in memory of the Newtown CT shooting that occurred just days after the Town Center shooting. Such unfortunate things happening in the world right now.

I also had an interesting conversation at work about God in those places. I had heard someone say that God wasn't in the Town Center or in that school during the unfolding of those events. I had a hard time digesting that. I have a hard time believing that God isn't everywhere at all times, even in times of sadness and pain. I think, I know that God was there. He was the strength of those teachers as they shielded their young students from flying bullets, He was the courage it took for those shoppers and workers had to run for their lives when they didn't know if they'd be shot. He was there when first responders arrived at both locations and He was there when family members crumpled with the news of the life of their loved one being taken. He is there with all of us as our hearts heal as a country, as a community, as individuals in the days and weeks and months to come. He is there. He is everywhere.

I also really like this quote that was circulated on Facebook in the days following the shooting:

"When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping." ~Fred Rogers 

God is in those helpers.